i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
