I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
