if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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