dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
