Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just want to make out with him forever
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
