Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
