the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
