So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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