Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
