we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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