I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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