So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
