Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
