she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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