why didn't you poke me back
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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