The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I am one with the molecules
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
