he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
