Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
My liver just had a heart attack.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
