Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
