I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
