just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
