Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
