Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He felt like a one man threesome
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I deserve this hangover.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
