you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
