Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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