Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
