All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
