i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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