On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
