I got chris browned last night
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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