The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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