If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
