Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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