i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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