Whod you bang
zippers are such a cool invention
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
