So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
How does one acquire holy water?
When are your genitals available?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
