Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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