that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
