Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
