He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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