it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
