Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
