You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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