i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
