Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Randomize
