You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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