I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
