thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
