u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
