I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
