S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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