I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
