I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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