She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
