my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Sacagawea was the original milf.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
