He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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