Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
