birth control should be required to get into college
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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