I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
