Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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