so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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