Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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