This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
