We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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