she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
