oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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