So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
