We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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