You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
